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THE

Defender Picks

 

MERCREDI

July 30th

Double Indemnity
Prytania Theatre, 10a.m.
Barbara Stanwyck and Fred MacMurray star in the classic noir

 

Zephyrs vs. Iowa
Zephyr Stadium, 5p.m.
Local baseball in Metairie

 

Wednesdays on the Point
Algiers Ferry Dock, 5:30-8:30 p.m.
This week ft. Bag of Donuts, DJ Rik Ducci

 

Dawn and Hawks
the BEATnik, 9p.m.
Americana singer-songwriters from Austin, TX

 

The Dirty Nil, Pears, High
Gasa Gasa, 9p.m.
Sloppy loud rock’n’roll out of Ontario, Canada

JEUDI

July 31st

Thursdays at Twilight
City Park Botanical Garden, 6p.m.
This week ft. Ole Man River Band ($10)

 

Ogden After Hours
Ogden Museum, 6-8p.m.
This week ft. Ruby and the Rogues ($10)

 

Zephyrs vs. Iowa
Zephyr Stadium, 7p.m.
Local baseball in Metairie

 

Dying City
Shadowbox Theatre, 7:30p.m.
Christopher Shinn’s play about the social effects of the Iraq War ($15)

 

Twelfth Night
Tulane Dixon Hall, 7:30p.m.
Ft. the student actors of the All Things Shakespeare Program

 

Cabaret
Tulane Dixon Hall, 8p.m.
Summer Lyric Theatre presents

 

The Gallery
Southport Hall, 8p.m.
Hooky indie rock out of western Massachusetts ($10)

 

Flesh Lights, Trampoline Team, Fez
Saturn Bar, 9p.m.

Naughty punk rock from Austin & NOLA ($7)

 

Bounce 4 Year Anniversary
Republic, 10p.m.
Ft. Big Freedia, Sissy Nobby & more ($10)

 

Monica McIntyre
Cafe Istanbul, 10p.m.
Cellist celebrates her birthday

 

Reggae Night
Blue Nile, 11p.m.
Hosted by DJ T-Roy

VENDREDI

August 1st

Satchmo Summerfest
Old U.S. Mint, 12-10p.m.
Friday ft. James Andrews, Dirty Dozen Brass Band, Wycliffe Gordon, & more

 

Friday Nights at NOMA
NOMA, 5-9p.m.
Gallery talk by Anne Roberts, music by Cristina Perez

 

What Made Milwaukee Famous

Euclid Records, 5p.m.

Preview their Gasa Gasa show tonight—free!

 

French Film Festival
Prytania Theatre, beginning 5:30p.m.
At 5:30, Tom at the Farm; at 7:45, Yves St. Laurent

 

Rolland Golden: Life, Love, and Art in the French Quarter
Garden District Gallery, 6p.m.
Local artist signs new memoir of his life 1955-1976

 

Zephyrs vs. Iowa
Zephyr Stadium, 7p.m.
Local baseball in Metairie

 

Kermit Ruffins & the BBQ Swingers
Blue Nile, 7p.m.
Catch Kermit on Frenchmen

 

Dying City
Shadowbox Theatre, 7:30p.m.
Christopher Shinn’s play about the social effects of the Iraq War ($20)

 

Twelfth Night
Tulane Dixon Hall, 7:30p.m.
Ft. the student actors of the All Things Shakespeare Program

 

Cabaret
Tulane Dixon Hall, 8p.m.
Summer Lyric Theatre presents

 

Sarah McLachlan
Saenger Theater, 8p.m.
Canadian superstar’s new album is Shine On

 

Grieves, Son Real
One Eyed Jacks, 9p.m.
Seattle-based MC ($15)

 

Foundation Free Fridays
Tipitina’s, 10p.m.
This week ft. Iko Allstars

 

What Made Milwaukee Famous
Gasa Gasa, 10p.m.
w/ Breton Sound, A. Sinclair ($7)

SAMEDI

August 2nd

Satchmo Summerfest
Old U.S. Mint, 12-10p.m.
Saturday ft. Glen David Andrews, Brass-A-Holics, Topsy Chapman & more

 

French Film Festival
Prytania Theatre, beginning 12p.m.
At noon, Le Chef; at 1:45, Marius; at 3:45, Mr Leos CaraX; at 5:30, Tom at the Farm

 

White Linen Night
CAC & 300-600 blocks Julia St., beginning 6p.m.
Julia Street art scene’s big night out

 

Zephyrs vs. Nashville
Zephyr Stadium, 6p.m.

Local baseball in Metairie

 

Jesse McCartney
House of Blues, 6:30p.m.
90s teen pop sensation, now sponsored by Twix ($25)

 

Dying City
Shadowbox Theatre, 7:30p.m.
Christopher Shinn’s play about Iraq War's social effects ($20) (final performance)

 

Twelfth Night
Tulane Dixon Hall, 7:30p.m.
Ft. the student actors of the All Things Shakespeare Program

 

Cabaret
Tulane Dixon Hall, 8p.m.
Summer Lyric Theatre presents

 

Hank III
House of Blues, 8p.m.
AKA Shelton Hank Williams, AKA Hank Williams III ($31)

 

Big History Hiatus Show
Tipitina’s, 10p.m.
with Sweet Crude, Vox and the Hound ($10)

 

Ex-Cult, BABES, Giorgio Murderer
Saturn Bar, 10p.m.
Raucous post-rock out of Memphis ($7)

 

HUSTLE!
Hi-Ho Lounge, 11p.m.
DJ Soul Sister’s rare groove dance party

 

Mykki Blanco
One Eyed Jacks, 12a.m.
Queer hip-hop artist & performance artist ($12)
 

DIMANCHE

August 3rd

Satchmo Summerfest
Old U.S. Mint, 12-10p.m.
Sunday features Original Pinettes, Kermit Ruffins, Jeremy Davenport & more

 

French Film Festival
Prytania Theatre, beginning 12p.m.
At noon, A Summer’s Tale; at 2:30, Fanny; at 5, Mood Indigo

 

Twelfth Night
Tulane Dixon Hall, 1:30p.m.
Ft. the student actors of the All Things Shakespeare Program

 

Cabaret
Tulane Dixon Hall, 2p.m.
Summer Lyric Theatre presents

 

Zephyrs vs. Nashville
Zephyr Stadium, 4p.m.
Local baseball in Metairie

 

Justin Timberlake
Smoothie King Center, 8p.m.
Not A Bad Thing ($56+)

 

John Moreland
the BEATnik, 8p.m.
Tulsa, OK singer-songwriter
 



Pickin' Away the Picayune


Q
Dear Dead Huey P. Long, What do you make of all this fuss about the Times-Picayune publishing three days a week and focusing more on their website? Given your history with the New Orleans paper, I reckon you’re glad to see it go, right? It’s not like we’re losing a particularly good paper. Unsubscribed in Eunice

A

Dear Unsubscribed,

 

Now, look. I never did give a good gotdamn about the Times-Picayune. Hell, it’s no secret that me and Esmond “Shinola” Phelps had our fair share of tangles. That sumbitch was deep in the pockets of big railroads and New York bankers, so when I started talkin' bout sharing the wealth, Phelps started talkin' impeachment. Nice try, you rascal. The Picayune stuck to me like a fat tick on a lazy dog and I tried to stick it right back, passing a state tax on newspapers that Phelps whined about all the way up to the U.S. Supreme Court. Well, you can’t win ‘em all.

 

 

Believe you me, there was a time I woulda liked to see some carnage in that newsroom, but hearing talk about the Times-Picayune being scaled down to three papers a week really stirs up the guts of ol’ Dead Huey P. Long. On one hand, Phelps can suck it. On the other hand, it’s hard to imagine New Orleans without a paper of record, even one as despicable as the Picayune.

 

Let me ask you this: If the Times-Picayune ain’t around to print half-truths and whole lies, and if opponents of the Picayune lose a rival to rail against, then who decides exactly what’s worth talking about in this town?

 

By 1930 I got so tired of arguing with the local rags that I started my own damn paper, called it Louisiana Progress. If Phelps and the rest of those sumbitches insisted on dragging me through the mud, then I figured the least I could do is sling a little back at ‘em. The Progress was admittedly a low-budget affair, funded through generous contributions to my deduct box and by a few advertisers who valued their business with the state, but it got the job done. Sometimes we published monthly, sometimes weekly, sometimes more, depending how soon the next election was coming up, if you catch my drift. Folks today might call Louisiana Progress an “alternative newspaper,” meaning it was an alternative to the party line pitched by the Picayune.

 

As much as it burns my ass to admit it, I needed the Times-Picayune. Huey P. Long without the Times-Picayune is like LSU without Ole Miss, like Domilise’s without Quizno’s, like New Orleans without Houston. Sometimes you gotta define what you are by defining what you’re not, and that’s hard to do without a good foil.

 

Now, I know it’s not like Da Paper is disappearing completely. I’m told the Picayune will still print three days a week, and daily news will now be available on the internet. Well, when you spend most of your time in a pine box underneath the NOLA Defender offices, a good wi-fi connection can be hard to come by. If ain’t delivered to my door, I ain’t gonna read it, and I know a lot of old-timers around here feel the same way. Still, I reckon those of us who prefer printed news are a dying (or, in my case, dead) breed. But here’s the real problem with readin’ the paper on the Internet. If I wanna spend my time getting’ all worked up over the latest indignities from the pens of sumbitches like Phelps and his cronies, I can’t find ‘em for a cent. I’m staring at a MyPad lookin’ at cat pictures and some rinky dink clip of the Saints stretchin’ out their calf muscles.

 

All news may be created equal, but it ain’t all king, and that’s a big damn problem when you wanna find out where the bodies are buried. What you end up with is a bunch of hens and no rooster, and with all that cluckin’ it’s hard to know when news is really worth crowing about. I’ll be the last sonofabitch on Earth to shed a tear for Esmond Phelps, but there ain’t no volume without a paper of record. And there ain't no front page for the Kingfish to dominate, neither.

 

Regards,

 

Dead Huey P. Long




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Contributors:

Dead Huey Long, Emma Boyce, Elizabeth Davas, Ian Hoch, Lindsay Mack, Anna Gaca, Jason Raymond, Lee Matalone, Phil Yiannopoulos, Joe Shriner, Chris Staudinger, Chef Anthony Scanio, Tierney Monaghan, Stacy Coco, Rob Ingraham,

Staff Writers

Cheryl Castjohn, Sam Nelson

Listings Editor

Anna Gaca

Art Listings

Cheryl Castjohn

Photographers

Brandon Roberts, Rachel June, Daniel Paschall

Film Critic

Jason Raymond

Puzzler

Paolo Roy

Art Director:

Michael Weber, B.A.

Managing Editor

Stephen Babcock

Editor:

B. E. Mintz

Published Daily by

Minced Media, Inc.