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THE

Defender Picks

 

MERCREDI

March 29th

Response: Artists in the Park

Botanical Garden, 10AM

Art exhibit and sale en plein air

 

Studio Opening Party

Alex Beard Studio, 5PM

Drinks, food, painting to celebrate the artist's studio opening

 

Sippin' in the Courtyard

Maison Dupuy Hotel, 5PM

Fancy foods, music by jazz great Tim Laughlin, and event raffle

 

Work Hard, Play Hard

Benachi House & Gardens, 6PM

Southern Rep's fundraising dinner and party 

 

Lecture: Patrick Smith

New Canal Lighthouse, 6PM

Coastal scientist discusses his work

 

Pelicans vs. Dallas Mavericks

Smoothie King Center, 7PM

The Birds and the Mavs go head to head

 

Drag Bingo

Allways Lounge, 7PM

Last game planned in the Allways's popular performance & game night

 

They Blinded Me With Science: A Bartender Science Fair

2314 Iberville St., 7:30PM

Cocktails for a cause

 

Brian Wilson 

Saenger Theatre, 8PM

The Beach Boy presents "Pet Sounds" 

 

Movie Screening: Napoleon Dynamite

Catahoula Hotel, 8PM

Free drinks if you can do his dance. Vote for Pedro!

 

Blood Jet Poetry Series

BJs in the Bywater, 8PM

Poetry with Clare Welsh and Todd Cirillo

 

Horror Shorts

Bar Redux, 9PM

NOLA's Horror Films Fest screens shorts

 

A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie

Howlin Wolf, 10PM

Bronx hip hop comes south

 

JEUDI

March 30th

Aerials in the Atrium

Bywater Art Lofts, 6PM

Live art in the air

 

Ogden After Hours

Ogden Museum, 6PM

Feat. Mia Borders

 

Pete Fountain: A Life Half-Fast

New Orleans Jazz Museum, 6PM

Exhibit opening on the late Pete Fountain

 

Big Freedia Opening Night Mixer

Mardi Gras Museum of Costumes and Culture, 6PM

Unveiling of Big Freedia's 2018 Krew du Viewux costume

 

An Edible Evening

Langston Hughes Academy, 7PM

8th annual dinner party in the Dreamkeeper Garden

 

RAW Artists Present: CUSP

The Republlic, 7PM

Immersive pop-up gallery, boutique, and stage show

 

Electric Swandive, Hey Thanks, Something More, Chris Schwartz

Euphorbia Kava Bar, 7PM

DIY rock, pop, punk show

 

The Avett Brothers

Saenger Theatre, 7:30PM

Americana folk-rock

 

Stand-Up NOLA

Joy Theater, 8PM

Comedy cabaret

 

Stooges Brass Band

The Carver, 9PM

NOLA brass all-stars

 

Wolves and Wolves and Wolves and Wolves

Gasa Gasa, 9PM

Feat. Burn Like Fire and I'm Fine in support

 

Fluffing the Ego

Allways Lounge, 10:30PM

Feat. Creep Cuts and Rory Danger & the Danger Dangers

 

Fast Times Dance Party

One Eyed Jacks, 10:30PM

80s dance party

 



Pickin' Away the Picayune


Q
Dear Dead Huey P. Long, What do you make of all this fuss about the Times-Picayune publishing three days a week and focusing more on their website? Given your history with the New Orleans paper, I reckon you’re glad to see it go, right? It’s not like we’re losing a particularly good paper. Unsubscribed in Eunice

A

Dear Unsubscribed,

 

Now, look. I never did give a good gotdamn about the Times-Picayune. Hell, it’s no secret that me and Esmond “Shinola” Phelps had our fair share of tangles. That sumbitch was deep in the pockets of big railroads and New York bankers, so when I started talkin' bout sharing the wealth, Phelps started talkin' impeachment. Nice try, you rascal. The Picayune stuck to me like a fat tick on a lazy dog and I tried to stick it right back, passing a state tax on newspapers that Phelps whined about all the way up to the U.S. Supreme Court. Well, you can’t win ‘em all.

 

 

Believe you me, there was a time I woulda liked to see some carnage in that newsroom, but hearing talk about the Times-Picayune being scaled down to three papers a week really stirs up the guts of ol’ Dead Huey P. Long. On one hand, Phelps can suck it. On the other hand, it’s hard to imagine New Orleans without a paper of record, even one as despicable as the Picayune.

 

Let me ask you this: If the Times-Picayune ain’t around to print half-truths and whole lies, and if opponents of the Picayune lose a rival to rail against, then who decides exactly what’s worth talking about in this town?

 

By 1930 I got so tired of arguing with the local rags that I started my own damn paper, called it Louisiana Progress. If Phelps and the rest of those sumbitches insisted on dragging me through the mud, then I figured the least I could do is sling a little back at ‘em. The Progress was admittedly a low-budget affair, funded through generous contributions to my deduct box and by a few advertisers who valued their business with the state, but it got the job done. Sometimes we published monthly, sometimes weekly, sometimes more, depending how soon the next election was coming up, if you catch my drift. Folks today might call Louisiana Progress an “alternative newspaper,” meaning it was an alternative to the party line pitched by the Picayune.

 

As much as it burns my ass to admit it, I needed the Times-Picayune. Huey P. Long without the Times-Picayune is like LSU without Ole Miss, like Domilise’s without Quizno’s, like New Orleans without Houston. Sometimes you gotta define what you are by defining what you’re not, and that’s hard to do without a good foil.

 

Now, I know it’s not like Da Paper is disappearing completely. I’m told the Picayune will still print three days a week, and daily news will now be available on the internet. Well, when you spend most of your time in a pine box underneath the NOLA Defender offices, a good wi-fi connection can be hard to come by. If ain’t delivered to my door, I ain’t gonna read it, and I know a lot of old-timers around here feel the same way. Still, I reckon those of us who prefer printed news are a dying (or, in my case, dead) breed. But here’s the real problem with readin’ the paper on the Internet. If I wanna spend my time getting’ all worked up over the latest indignities from the pens of sumbitches like Phelps and his cronies, I can’t find ‘em for a cent. I’m staring at a MyPad lookin’ at cat pictures and some rinky dink clip of the Saints stretchin’ out their calf muscles.

 

All news may be created equal, but it ain’t all king, and that’s a big damn problem when you wanna find out where the bodies are buried. What you end up with is a bunch of hens and no rooster, and with all that cluckin’ it’s hard to know when news is really worth crowing about. I’ll be the last sonofabitch on Earth to shed a tear for Esmond Phelps, but there ain’t no volume without a paper of record. And there ain't no front page for the Kingfish to dominate, neither.

 

Regards,

 

Dead Huey P. Long




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Contributors:

Evan Z.E. Hammond, Dead Huey, Andrew Smith

Listings Editor


Photographers


Art Director:

Michael Weber, B.A.

Editor:

Alexis Manrodt

Published Daily

Editor Emeritus:

B. E. Mintz

Editor Emeritus



Stephen Babcock