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Modern Day Diaspora

Marigny Musings

     Since it now appears that there are no longer any issues which are deemed to be too parochial for federal congressional elections, it's time for out of state federal congressional candidates to weigh in on true New Orleanian issues.

Nah, not whether the Saints should cut Garret Hartley after shanking a gimme game winning field goal against the hated Falcons; instead, it's time to illicit positions  from those candidates seeking election for offices outside of Louisiana  on issues that are near and dear to us native WhoDats.


     The encroachment of out – of – jurisdiction issues on federal congressional elections has reached its zenith with the question that is now proving to be the most vexing of all. Not health care, the economy or the war effort in Afghanistan. Those are issues for the simple minded. Nope, its now clear that those who seek to provide leadership for this country in the hallowed halls of Congress, must first proclaim their stand on property right issues in New York City. That’s right folks, even if your pondering the choice amongst congressional candidates in North Carolina, or senate aspirants in Nevada, one must first establish their fitness to hold such an office by declaring whether a Mosque (which, in actuality is a proposed Islamic Community Center – what “we” Americans usually refer to as a YMCA) should be built two blocks away from the former site of the World Trade Center Towers. Clearly, those tobacco loving Carolinians, and sin and booze heathens of Nevada, have nothing more pressing in their own backyards then to cast a ballot for the candidate that best echoes their sentiment on such matters as how best to develop property in mid-town Manhattan. Given this nascent altruistic attitude that our non-Louisianian brethren are now displaying for what had otherwise been categorized as “local issues,” it's now time to get the collective wit and wisdom of messengers Harry Reid, Sharron Angels, Renee Ellmers and Bob Etheridge on those things that matter most to New Orleans.


     Since its now fair game for all federal candidates to weigh in on what is tantamount to an exclusion of Muslims from the former WTC site, us New Orleaninans need to enlist such sympathetic support for our own quest to commit diaspora upon what we perceive to be a godless heathen mob. And what dastardly group should we expel and enlist out of state political support in our god given quest? What group can we identify as having inflicted untold carnage upon our personage and property?  Unquestionably it’s the infidels branded by the moniker of the United States Army Corps of Engineers. That’s right, those fine folks who were given the federal mandate to protect our citizenry who live below sea level from the ravages of water, and who have now been judicially decreed as having utterly failed in their task, are clearly not fit to live amongst us, just like their Muslim brethren in Manhattan. Who amongst us can discern between an erstwhile member of the USACE who is dutifully performing their job, like those peace loving members of the ancient Muslim faith?  No matter, throw them all out! And, while we simply seek to banish the USACE cancer from New Orleans, certainly, our noble cause should not be constrained by the boundaries of our fair city, much like the denziens of NYC that seek the guidance of out of state intelligensia on their local ills. No matter that the best way to become educated as to the true nature of a religion would come from those that seek to peacefully practice it, or that seeking alternative solutions to flood prevention would come from a federal agency with billions of dollars at its disposal, those issues are far too complicated for us to decipher, and we must simply dispel all those that we identify as being offensive from our midst, and enlist the support of all like minded people, regardless as to their residency.


     Or, we could just ask them if they know the name of a good free agent field goal kicker……

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Renard Boissiere, Evan Z.E. Hammond, Naimonu James, Wilson Koewing, J.A. Lloyd, Nina Luckman, Dead Huey Long, Alexis Manrodt, Joseph Santiago, Andrew Smith, Cynthia Via, Austin Yde


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