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Fair Grounds, all day
Final day of weekend one
Bayou Beer Garden, 9AM
The most important meal of the year
Prytania Theatre, 10AM
1933 sci-fi horror classic
Saenger Theatre, 3PM
YouTube superstar comes to town
Marigny Opera House, 5PM
Feat. guitarist and composer David Sigler
Eiffel Society, 7PM
Lord of the Rings burlesque
Maple Leaf Bar, 7PM
Feat. Walter "Wolfman" Washington and Russell Batiste, plus a crawfish boil
Bar Redux, 9PM
NOLA-based Balkan band
Zeitgeist Arts Center, 9PM
Helen Gillet presents Belgian avant garde films
Louis Armstrong Park, 1PM
A protest for freedom, jobs, justice, and sanctuary for all
Peoples Health Jazz Market, 6:30PM
CNN presents event, with post-screening conversation with anchor Brooke Baldwin
House of Blues, 7PM
Carver Club, 8PM
Treme club shifts its weekly show to the historic Carver Theatre
Cafe Istanbul, 9:15PM
Evening of poetry with Chuck Perkins, plus live music
Blue Nile, 11PM
Famed brass all-stars play Frenchmen
Ernest N. Morial Cenvention Center
Kick off day of tech conference
Marigny Recording Studio, 3PM
First annual showcase of the label's artists
Greater New Orleans Foundation, 4:30PM
Music from Irma Thomas, Big Sam's Funky Nation, Rebirth Brass Band
343 Baronne St., 6:30PM
Chardonnay vs. Pinot Noir
House of Blues, 7PM
Grammy-nominated French heavy metal
Little Gem Saloon, 7:30PM
Stick around for Honey Island Swamp Band at 11PM
Smoothie King Center, 8PM
50th anniversary tour
Feat. Rory Danger and the Danger Dangers
Octavia Books, 4:30PM
From "How to Be A Supervillain"
Hosted by Pistil & Stamen Flower Farm and Studio
Music at the Mint, 7PM
Feat. Tim Laughlin
The Sanctuary, 8PM
CD release show
Snug Harbor, 8PM
Feat. Marcia Ball, Joe Krown, and Tom McDermott
In support of newest album 'Whiteout Conditions'
Saenger Theatre, 8:30PM
Blue Nile, 9PM
Feat. Ivan Neville
Gasa Gasa, 9PM
Feat. Chrome Pony and Post Animal in support
Blue Nile, 11:55PM
Next generation NOLA brass
Pres Hall, 12AM
With Jon Cleary, Benny Bloom, & Friends
Fair Grounds, all day
Weekend two kicks off
Tubby & Coo's, 4PM
Star Wars party
Jazz in the Park
Russell Batiste and friends
Crescent Park, 5:45PM
Get sweaty and centered
Ashé Cac, 6PM
Live music, DJs, and dance
The Music Box Village, 6:30PM
Punk rock percussion
Rosalie Apothecary, 7PM
Class for women's health
House of Blues, 7:30PM
Benefit concert for his namesake foundation
The Historic Carver Theater, 8PM
Feat. Ian Neville, Nikki Glaspie, SSHH feat. Zak Starkey of The Who
The Howlin Wolf, 9PM
Republic NOLA, 9PM
Feat. George Porter Jr., Zigaboo Modeliste
Music at the Mint, 9PM
Live music to benefit the Louis Armstrong Jazz Camp
Krewe du Vieux Comes Early, Often in 2013
With an early Mardi Gras, Carnival krewes have less time to get their floats and costumes ready. Plus, the marching groups had to do the Super Bowl shuffle to make way for the Big Game. The parade season tone-setters of Krewe du Vieux - who are already under the gun for this year's Jan. 19 march - could be complaining about being in a world of shit as a result of these developments. But, as always, they've simply released Le Monde de Merde for the rest of us to roll around in with glee, and announced a theme that cuts off all feelings of misery and misfortune marked by daily life in the City of Dreams at the head.
Krewe du Vieux's 2013 theme is "Krewe du Vieux Comes Early," according to their recently-published annual newspaper, Le Monde de Merde. After summarizing a year of Bounties, TP cutbacks and the Crescent City's usual political tomfoolery, the krewe that relies on old-fashioned ass-drawn floats and outrageous satire announced once again that only one krewe can cut down all that is sacred, and turn all that is proper into sexual innuendo and bathroom humor.
"The pre-mature Krewe members will come early and often come hell or high water until the cows come home," the paper heralds.
This year's Queen is New Orleans Musicians Clinic executive director Bethany Bultman. As the director of the organization that provides health care to the city's many players and one of the many state health care providers made to feel ill following Bobby Jindal's budget cuts, Bultman "has come to the forefront of our cultural preservation efforts," according to the Krewe.
As ever, Le Monde de Merde also gives Carnival watchers a sneak peek at some of this year's satire. Floats themes this year are heavily targeted in the direction of the Newhouses and the Times-Picayune, whose decision to cut back publication to three days a week took up the city's civic conversation for most of the second half of the year.
Krewe of Comatose will march with "The Times Prickayune Fails to Deliver," while K.A.O.S. will hold up "Black and White and Dead All Over." Drips and Discharges, meanwhile, announces to the Merde that they're "Fresh Outta TP."
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is also a piece of red meat for the skewer, as the Saints' Bountygate scandal gave the city an Enemy No. 1, and tanked the Black and Gold season before it started.
Krewe of SPANK will unveil their ultrapostmodern classic "Waiting for Goodell," while Krewe of Underwear will show how the "NFL Penetrates Carnival." Meanwhile, the Mystic Krewe of Inane will get us ready for Super Hole XLVAG," while Mama Roux will prepare the way of the "Stuper Bowl."
But it's not all football and newsprint. T.O.K.I.N. will introduce the masses to YoMamaCare, while the Krewe of Spermes will take the parade's theme to new scientific heights by exploring what truly came first, the chicken or the egg? Proving that this year's krewe is extraordinarily fowl, Seeds of Decline will allow us to Choke More Chikn.
Having ready this handy summary, NoDef is fully aware that readers will have no idea what any of this looks like. Pick up a Le Monde de Merde at newsstands around the city, or head to Krewe du Vieux at 6:30 p.m. on Jan. 19 in the Marigny and French Quarter (route pictured) to see it in the exposed flesh.
Renard Boissiere, Linzi Falk, Evan Z.E. Hammond, Dead Huey, Wilson Koewing, J.A. Lloyd, Joseph Santiago, Andrew Smith, Cynthia Via
Michael Weber, B.A.
B. E. Mintz