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THE

Defender Picks

 

Vendredi

November 28th

The New Orleans Suspects feat. Paul Barrere of Little Feat

Tipitina’s, 10p.m.

Also with special guests Ed Volker (The Radiators) and John “Papa” Gros

 

Tank and the Bangas “Stone Soul Picnic”

Chickie Wah Wah, 10p.m.

Rhythmic soul and spoken word from locally formed group led by singer Tarriona Ball

 

Grayson Capps

Carrollton Station, 10p.m.

Raw bayou blues done right + Lauren Murphy; $2 Rolling Rock

 

Luke Winslow King w/SamDoores (The Deslondes/Hurray for the Riff Raff)

d.b.a., 10p.m.

Fresh Americana from Nola rooted musicians $10

 

Kermit Ruffins & The BBQ Swingers

Blue Nile, 7p.m.

Friday nights with Kermit on Frenchmen ($10)

 

Brass-A-Holics vs. Mainline

Blue Nile, 11p.m.

Dueling brass

 

DJ Black Pearl

Blue Nile Balcony Room, 1a.m.

Two nights of EDM from the princess of Indian dj’s

 

Teairra Mari: All Black Affair

House of Blues, 11p.m.

Presented by Tscolee & Loft 360 Society she's sung w/ Gucci Mane & Soulja Boy

 

Lalah Hathaway, Najee, Anthony David

Saenger Theatre, 7:30p.m.

Grammy-winning singer brings soul to the Saenger

 

Bayou Classic Golf Tournament

Joe Bartholomew Golf Course (Pontchartrain Park), 10a.m.

Test your driving and putting skills in this bonafide local tournament

 

Career & College Fair

Hyatt Regency Hotel, 10a.m.-3p.m.

Part of Bayou Classic’s events helping companies and graduates connect

 

Battle of the Bands And Greek Show

Superdome, 6p.m.

A decades long rivalry features a battle of school marching bands in preparation for tomorrow’s big game

 

Marc Broussard

Southport Music Hall, 8p.m.

Son of Boogie King’s Ted Broussard this cajun’s voice is full of well-placed soul

 

Black Friday Fiasco

Banks St. Bar, 10p.m.-3a.m.

A tribute to the Ramones with sideshows by lydia Treats, Pope Matt Thomas and burlesque from Xena Zeit-Geist

 

 

Samedi

November 29th

Water Isaacson - The Innovators: How a Group of Hackers Geniuses, and Geeks Created a Digital Revolution 

Newman, 1-3p.m.

Hear author of Steve Jobs speak about pioneer of computer programming Ada Lovelace, Lord Byron’s daughter and other innovators of the digital age

 

Cedric Burnside Project ft Garry Burnside and Gravy

Tipitina’s, 10p.m.

Catch this Blues Hall of Famer uptown

 

Little Freddie King

The Beatnik, 9p.m.

Join this class act local bluesman in Central City

 

FKA Twigs

Republic, 9p.m.

The sexiest electronic R&B show you’ll probably ever go to

 

Build Your Own Bloody Mary Bar

The Country Club, 10a.m.-3p.m.

Do it how you live it + $10 bottomless Mimosas every Sat and Sun

 

DJ Black Pearl

Blue Nile Balcony Room, 1a.m.

Two nights of EDM from the princess of Indian dj’s

 

Hustle w/ DJ Soul Sister

Hi Ho Lounge, 9p.m.-1a.m.

Get ya hustle on to humble resident DJ who spins it how she lives it

 

John Boutte

d.b.a., 8p.m.

Witness local jazz vocalist’s voice floating on Frenchmen ($10)

 

Funk Monkey

d.b.a., 10p.m.

Second-line funk and dank boogaloo groove made to make ya move ya feet

 

Eric Lindell

d.b.a., 11p.m.

San Franciscan native turned Cajun sifts through elements of blues and soul $15

 

Gal Holiday and the Honky Tonk Revue

Siberia, 10p.m.

Authentic N.O. honky-tonk rockgal

 

Down

Southport Hall, 7p.m.

Philip Anselmo's local metal cult 

 

Bayou Classic

Superdome, 1:30p.m.

Rivals Southern University and Grambling State duke it out for the 41st time in this annually played game

 

Fan Fest

Champions Square, 9a.m.-1p.m.

Music outside da dome featuring 5th Ward Weebie and more

 

High Vamp: Recapping the 'True Blood' Season Premiere


by Bellatrix Boudreaux

Last night, True Blood returned, and we viewers learned, “In a series about the undead, characters might get killed off, but they never get written off.” HBO's Louisiana-set vampire romp returned with all the almost-there local references, overly complicated story arcs featuring any fantastical creatures that happen to come to the creators' minds and, of course, gratutious nudity. Let's take it from the top:

 

True Blood’s season premiere begins with the requisite recap of last season. Given the series’ plot is absurd, illogical, and somewhat tangential to the experience of actually watching the show, we won’t bother revisiting the past. However, NoDef took the following from the three minute review.

 

Accents Imagine Rene Zellweger’s awful pseudo North Carolina accent a la Cold Mountain. Now imagine if Zellweger mated with a valley girl and a nutria rat. Her offspring would have the awful tonal tendencies that TB has labeled a Luziyana accent. So, dear reader, let’s reach an agreement to ignore the accent issue, lest the topic dominate and consume this column. File it under “Suspension of Disbelief.”

 

Bounties Apparently, Gregg Williams is inspired by the undead. (The condition might explain his shortcomings as a Defensive Coordinator.) Last season, the vampires were setting up bounties left and right. Unike the NFL, the Authority which governs the vampires condones the practice. Tonight, they are looking for some knockout hits on Bill and Eric.

 

Wiccans Last season, there were Wiccans feeling dejected, and trying to stir trouble. Just like high school, now we’re a bit older, and they’re gone.

 

Sookie and Tara Oh yeah. Sookie killed Tara, her best friend. Mind you before killing Tara, she had her exorcised, flirted with a lesbian love affair, and set her up with a shapeshifter.

 

Okay, onto the action. In this episode, the subplots maintain some autonomy, and develop separately. The formula is pretty standard for a season opener, and makes the whole nonsense a bit easier for us to follow.

 

Vampires Bill and Eric These guys have apparently become friends. When we first encounter them, they are functioning as some sort of vampire equivalent of a CIA wet team. In super fast forward (lots of that in this episode,) they are sanitizing a crime scene. Then, they bond over rejection. The bro-mance is on until some interlopers ambush the pair in big, silver nets, and throw them in the trunk of a car. We are treated to a prolonged scene of the driver listening to Paul McCartney. (Apparently, mocking Wings passes for humor. NoDef doesn’t think so; Paul will always be the cute Beatle to us.) Anyway, Bill and Eric manage to escape, and are joined by Eric’s sister, a Chancellor. Despite the alleged sibling status, Eric gets intimate with her in a shipping container. (Of course, both are eye candy naked.) They’re also both loud. Eric explains with another triumph of the TB writers’ room. “We fight like siblings, but fuck like champions.” Then, they are interrupted, and thrust into a WWII resistance style escape at the docks. Ruh-roh. It’s an ambush. (And, the authority has a badass spec-ops team. We hope that the White House didn’t share any secrets with the TB producers.) Now Bill, Eric, and Eric’s sister are captives of the authority. (Talk about blue balls.)

 

Jason Stackhouse Steve Newlin, last season’s anti-Vampire evangelical, has become a vampire, and now makes an unexpected visit to Casa Stackhouse, bringing a naked Jason to the door. The vampire is dressed very nelly, a pastel sweater hanging from his shoulders. Apparently, the gay rights metaphor with the hateful evangelicals was not clear enough. So, we’re shedding the metaphors. The evangelical declares, “I’m a gay vampire American, and I love you Jason Stackhouse.” Jason insists that he “plays for the other team.” TB isn’t written by T.S. Eliott, and our undead Prufrock does not take well to being told that is not what Jason meant at all. Jason’s life is saved by the redheaded perma-virgin teen vamp. Jason falls hard for her to the dismay of her ex and his redneck buddies. They call Jason a “girlfriend fucker.” (Here is, by far, the worst phrase in an poorly written episode, the rhetorical equivalent of broken beads in the gutter.) None of it matters, since the redhead just wants to party with the sorority girls from the local college. There is even a scene where they all play Rock Band together. (TB seems to think the game is romantic; time for NoDef to hit game stop, and trade in that FIFA disc.)

 

Sookie/Lafayette/Tara/Pam When we first see Sookie again, she and Lafayette are dealing with Tara’s corpse. Dealing with Tara basically consumes their entire plotline. Vampire Pam enters the picture, and agrees to make Tara a vampire in order to bring her back to (un)life. Pam delivers the line, “I’m wearing a WalMart sweater. If that’s not a demonstration of team spirit I don’t know what is.” The line is not that funny, but we also hear the term “fucktarded,” which compensates. Theoretically, the ploy may fail, and the viewer is supposed to spend the episode identifying with Sookie and Lafayette, reminiscing about Tara, and hoping for her return. Unfortunately, the opening titles eliminate any suspense surrounding her return.

 

Miscellaneous TB also features some narrative other narrative strains mostly involving werewolves and shapeshifters. Since wolves et al. do not wear clothes, these characters are always naked when they shift into human form. We’re pretty certain that said nudity is the point of these storylines. TB does not disappoint as we are treated to a very slightly werewolf in the nude. Also, Alcides fesses up to killing the leader of the Shreveport based biker gang cum werewolf pack. (None of the wolves wear Cowboys gear; so, we find the Shreveport bit hard to swallow.)

 

Overall, the opener delivered all that we expect in an episode of True Blood. We rate the nudity at 7, a nice dose, but lacking the usual fetishism. The plot receives a 3 which is pretty standard as it makes no sense (res ipso loquitor.) The acting receives a 3 as well, given that the cast actually attempts sorrow this episode. Emotion, let alone sorrow, is well beyond their range and really highlights their shortcomings.




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Contributors:

Dead Huey Long, Emma Boyce, Elizabeth Davas, Ian Hoch, Lindsay Mack, Anna Gaca, Jason Raymond, Lee Matalone, Phil Yiannopoulos, Joe Shriner, Chris Staudinger, Chef Anthony Scanio, Tierney Monaghan, Stacy Coco, Rob Ingraham,

Staff Writers

Cheryl Castjohn, Sam Nelson

Art Listings

Cheryl Castjohn

Photographers

Brandon Roberts, Rachel June, Daniel Paschall

Film Critic

Jason Raymond

Puzzler

Paolo Roy

Art Director:

Michael Weber, B.A.

Editor:

B. E. Mintz

Published Daily by

Minced Media, Inc.

Editor Emeritus



Stephen Babcock