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THE

Defender Picks

 

Mercredi

April 23rd

Theresa Anderson, Paul Sanchez & The Rolling Road Show

Lafayette Square (5 p.m.)

Wednesday at the Square with folk, funk, food, and beer 

 

Dick Dale + High and the Unnaturals

Howlin' Wolf (9 p.m.)

Surf rocker makes NOLA tour stop. Tickets are $25 

 

The Caesar Brothers

Blue Nile, 10:30 p.m.

Funk duo on Frenchmen

 

Papa Mali + Pigeon Town

Gasa Gasa (8 p.m.)

Local rock n' roll singer/songwriter 

 

Little War Twins & Paper Bison 

Circle Bar (10 p.m.)

Alt group from Boston joins local bands. Tickets are $5 

 

Think You're Funny?

Carrollton Station (9 p.m.)

Stand-up comedy open mic in Riverbend

 

Walter Wolfman Washington

d.b.a. (10 p.m.)

Fiery blues on Frenchmen - every week

 

Major Bacon

Banks Street Bar (10 p.m.)

Blues rock and BLTs!

 

Hump Day SIN

Country Club (All Day)

Half-off admission to pool area for service industry members from 10 a.m. - 1 a.m.

 

Mississippi Rail Co.

Maple Leaf Bar (10p.m.)

Blues on Oak St.

 

Tin Men

dba (7p.m.)

Weekly Wed Gig- The world's premiere washboard-sousaphone-guitar trio.

 

Treme Brass Band

Candlelight Lounge (9p.m.)

Weekly Wed Gig- Pass on by and see the 6th Ward’s home band.

 

Jeudi

April 24th

Big Freedia, The Star Steppin' Cosmonaughties, & More

Armstrong Park (3 p.m.)

Jazz in the Park continues with bounce, dance, and Kermit Ruffins & the Barbeque Swingers 

 

New Orleans Nightingales

The Allways Lounge (9 p.m.)

Jazz Fest series gala kick off  

 

The Trio feat. Eric "Jesus" Coomes, Nicholas Payton

Maple Leaf (10 p.m.)

Funk bassist + New Orleans’ BAM (Black American Music) trumpeter  

 

Tinariwen and Bombino

House of Blues (9 p.m.)

Desert rock inspired by the Sahara  

 

Bayous de Vilaine

Ogden Museum (6 p.m.)

Sippin' in Seersucker trunk show from Jolie & Elizabeth, plus music for tonight's after hours event 

 

Cirque d'Licious

Hi-Ho Lounge (10p.m.)

Ginger Licious hosts cabaret, burlesque, vaudeville and more!

 

Soul Rebels

Les Bon Temps Roule (11p.m.)

Roll with the Rebels on Magazine

 

 

 

Vendredi

April 25th

Jazz Fest

Fair Grounds (11 a.m.- 7 p.m.)

Headliners include The Avett Brothers, Public Enemy and, Aurora Nealand 

 

Underground Railroad Film Screening

NOMA (5 p.m.)

Fridays at NOMA features art and music inside, film in the Sculpture Garden, plus food and drink 

 

Rotary Downs + Mike Dillon 

Gasa Gasa (9 p.m.)

New Orleans psych pop, rock n' roll 

 

Backbeat Jazz Fest Series  

Blue Nile (10 p.m.)

Soul Rebels, Nigel Hall & the Congregation, and more 

 

Nina Simone Tribute

Cafe Istanbul (11 p.m.)

Tank and the Bangas + Mykia Jovan 

 

Andrew Duhon

Circle Bar (10 p.m.)

Local bluesy singer/songwriter  

 

Trombone Shorty + Orleans Ave.

House of Blues (8 p.m.)

Plus New Breed Brass Band. Tickets are $50  

 

Dumpstaphunk + Easy All Stars + More

Howlin' Wolf (10 p.m.)

Ivan Neville's band joins fellow funk bands on stage, with the Roosevelt Collier Band 

 

Bootsy Collins + DJ Soul Sister

Joy Theater (9 p.m.)

Funk legend joins New Orleans' own queen of rare grooves 

Samedi

April 26th

Jazz Fest

Fair Grounds (11 a.m.- 7 p.m.)

Headliners include Robin Thicke, 101 Runners, Branford Marsalis Quartet, and Phish 

 

Shamarr Fest

Shamrock (10 p.m.)

Shamar Allen & The Underdawgs, Hot 8 Brass Band, John Popper of Blues Traveler, and more

 

Cowboy Mouth

Tipitina's (9 p.m.)

plus Honey Island Swamp Band 

 

Katdelic

Blue Nile (2 a.m.)

Funk, rock, and hip hop from San Francisco

 

Heatwave

Prytania Bar (9 p.m.)

All-vinyl dance party spinning Motown/garage rock/R&B/soul/oldies

 

HUSTLE with DJ Soul Sister 

Hi Ho Lounge (11 p.m.)

Queen of rare grooves spins all-vinyl boogie, funk, and more into the wee hours of the morning 

 

Grayson Capps

Carrollton Station (10 p.m.)

plus the Lost Cause Minstrels + Jamie Lynn Vessels

Dimanche

April 27th

Jazz Fest

Fair Grounds (11 a.m.- 7 p.m.)

Headliners include Vampire Weekend, New Birth Brass Band, John Boutte, and more

 

Swinging Sundays

Allways Lounge (8 p.m.)

Swing dance lessons and party, live band from 9 p.m.-midnight 

 

Mogwai

Civic Theatre (8 p.m.)

Prog rock, Majeure opens

 

George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic

House of Blues (9 p.m.)

Key holder to the city of New Orleans, Clinton, joins DJ Soul Sister


High Vamp: Recapping the 'True Blood' Season Premiere


by Bellatrix Boudreaux

Last night, True Blood returned, and we viewers learned, “In a series about the undead, characters might get killed off, but they never get written off.” HBO's Louisiana-set vampire romp returned with all the almost-there local references, overly complicated story arcs featuring any fantastical creatures that happen to come to the creators' minds and, of course, gratutious nudity. Let's take it from the top:

 

True Blood’s season premiere begins with the requisite recap of last season. Given the series’ plot is absurd, illogical, and somewhat tangential to the experience of actually watching the show, we won’t bother revisiting the past. However, NoDef took the following from the three minute review.

 

Accents Imagine Rene Zellweger’s awful pseudo North Carolina accent a la Cold Mountain. Now imagine if Zellweger mated with a valley girl and a nutria rat. Her offspring would have the awful tonal tendencies that TB has labeled a Luziyana accent. So, dear reader, let’s reach an agreement to ignore the accent issue, lest the topic dominate and consume this column. File it under “Suspension of Disbelief.”

 

Bounties Apparently, Gregg Williams is inspired by the undead. (The condition might explain his shortcomings as a Defensive Coordinator.) Last season, the vampires were setting up bounties left and right. Unike the NFL, the Authority which governs the vampires condones the practice. Tonight, they are looking for some knockout hits on Bill and Eric.

 

Wiccans Last season, there were Wiccans feeling dejected, and trying to stir trouble. Just like high school, now we’re a bit older, and they’re gone.

 

Sookie and Tara Oh yeah. Sookie killed Tara, her best friend. Mind you before killing Tara, she had her exorcised, flirted with a lesbian love affair, and set her up with a shapeshifter.

 

Okay, onto the action. In this episode, the subplots maintain some autonomy, and develop separately. The formula is pretty standard for a season opener, and makes the whole nonsense a bit easier for us to follow.

 

Vampires Bill and Eric These guys have apparently become friends. When we first encounter them, they are functioning as some sort of vampire equivalent of a CIA wet team. In super fast forward (lots of that in this episode,) they are sanitizing a crime scene. Then, they bond over rejection. The bro-mance is on until some interlopers ambush the pair in big, silver nets, and throw them in the trunk of a car. We are treated to a prolonged scene of the driver listening to Paul McCartney. (Apparently, mocking Wings passes for humor. NoDef doesn’t think so; Paul will always be the cute Beatle to us.) Anyway, Bill and Eric manage to escape, and are joined by Eric’s sister, a Chancellor. Despite the alleged sibling status, Eric gets intimate with her in a shipping container. (Of course, both are eye candy naked.) They’re also both loud. Eric explains with another triumph of the TB writers’ room. “We fight like siblings, but fuck like champions.” Then, they are interrupted, and thrust into a WWII resistance style escape at the docks. Ruh-roh. It’s an ambush. (And, the authority has a badass spec-ops team. We hope that the White House didn’t share any secrets with the TB producers.) Now Bill, Eric, and Eric’s sister are captives of the authority. (Talk about blue balls.)

 

Jason Stackhouse Steve Newlin, last season’s anti-Vampire evangelical, has become a vampire, and now makes an unexpected visit to Casa Stackhouse, bringing a naked Jason to the door. The vampire is dressed very nelly, a pastel sweater hanging from his shoulders. Apparently, the gay rights metaphor with the hateful evangelicals was not clear enough. So, we’re shedding the metaphors. The evangelical declares, “I’m a gay vampire American, and I love you Jason Stackhouse.” Jason insists that he “plays for the other team.” TB isn’t written by T.S. Eliott, and our undead Prufrock does not take well to being told that is not what Jason meant at all. Jason’s life is saved by the redheaded perma-virgin teen vamp. Jason falls hard for her to the dismay of her ex and his redneck buddies. They call Jason a “girlfriend fucker.” (Here is, by far, the worst phrase in an poorly written episode, the rhetorical equivalent of broken beads in the gutter.) None of it matters, since the redhead just wants to party with the sorority girls from the local college. There is even a scene where they all play Rock Band together. (TB seems to think the game is romantic; time for NoDef to hit game stop, and trade in that FIFA disc.)

 

Sookie/Lafayette/Tara/Pam When we first see Sookie again, she and Lafayette are dealing with Tara’s corpse. Dealing with Tara basically consumes their entire plotline. Vampire Pam enters the picture, and agrees to make Tara a vampire in order to bring her back to (un)life. Pam delivers the line, “I’m wearing a WalMart sweater. If that’s not a demonstration of team spirit I don’t know what is.” The line is not that funny, but we also hear the term “fucktarded,” which compensates. Theoretically, the ploy may fail, and the viewer is supposed to spend the episode identifying with Sookie and Lafayette, reminiscing about Tara, and hoping for her return. Unfortunately, the opening titles eliminate any suspense surrounding her return.

 

Miscellaneous TB also features some narrative other narrative strains mostly involving werewolves and shapeshifters. Since wolves et al. do not wear clothes, these characters are always naked when they shift into human form. We’re pretty certain that said nudity is the point of these storylines. TB does not disappoint as we are treated to a very slightly werewolf in the nude. Also, Alcides fesses up to killing the leader of the Shreveport based biker gang cum werewolf pack. (None of the wolves wear Cowboys gear; so, we find the Shreveport bit hard to swallow.)

 

Overall, the opener delivered all that we expect in an episode of True Blood. We rate the nudity at 7, a nice dose, but lacking the usual fetishism. The plot receives a 3 which is pretty standard as it makes no sense (res ipso loquitor.) The acting receives a 3 as well, given that the cast actually attempts sorrow this episode. Emotion, let alone sorrow, is well beyond their range and really highlights their shortcomings.




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Contributors:

Dead Huey Long, Emma Boyce, Ian Hoch, Will Dilella, Chris Rinaldi, Lianna Patch, Phil Yiannopoulos, Cate Czarnecki, Mary Kilpatrick, Norris Ortolano, Joe Shriner, Chris Staudinger, Kailyn Davillier, Chef Anthony Scanio, Tierney Monaghan, Stacy Coco, Rob Ingraham

Staff Writers

Kerem Ozkan, Cheryl Castjohn, Sam Nelson

Listings

Elisabeth Morgan

Art Listings

Cheryl Castjohn

Photographers

Brandon Robert, Daniel Paschall

Puzzler

Paolo Roy

Art Director:

Michael Weber, B.A.

Deputy Managing Editor

M.D. Dupuy

Managing Editor

Stephen Babcock

Editor:

B. E. Mintz

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