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Lagniappe

 
THE

Defender Picks

 

VENDREDI

February 24th

Divine Protectors of Endangered Pleasures or DIVA

French Quarter Route, 1:30PM

Watch this bustier-clad krewe as they traverse through the Vieux Carre 

 

Krewe of Hermes

Uptown-St. Charles Route, 6PM

Celebrating its 80th year in Carnival

 

Le Krewe d'Etat

Uptown-St. Charles Route, 6:30PM 

An anarchic krewe that holds its own place in Mardi Gras lore

 

Krewe of Morpheus

Uptown-St. Charles Route, 7PM

A co-ed krewe known for elaborate floats and enviable throws

 

The Krewe of Debauche

Sanctuary Cultural Arts Center, 9PM

A Mardi Gras debauchery ball featuring gypsy balkan beats, bellydance and more ($15)

 

The Get Money Stop Hatin Tour

Cafe Istanbul, 9PM

8th annual tour showcasing the biggest independent talents in hip hop ($20)

 

Anglo a Go-Go

Bar Redux, 10PM

Dance to the swinging tunes of the UK underground 

 

A Queen and Bowie Tribute Show

Gasa Gasa, 10PM

Local talents come out to play the tunes of David Bowie and Queen

 

Grunge Night: NIRVANNA

House of Blues, 10PM

A Nirvana tribute concert featuring bands like The Kurt Loders

 

Burlesque Ballroom

Jazz Playhouse, 11PM

Burlesque pioneer Trixie Minx brings striptease to Bourbon 

 

Foundation of Funk

Tipitina's, 11PM

NOLA superground band is joined by special guests Anders Osborne & Jon Cleary

 

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1

Prytania Theatre, 11:59PM

A midnight showing of the penultimate movie about the boy wizard 

 

SAMEDI

February 25th

Krewe of Iris

Uptown-St. Charles Route, 11AM

All-female group is one of Carnival's oldest krewes

 

Krewe of Tucks

Uptown-St. Charles Route, 12PM

1,300 men and women make up one of the most satirical and irreverent krewes in Mardi Gras

 

Krewe of Endymion 

Mid-City Route, 4:15PM

One of the biggest and most extravagant parades, Endymion is long enough to last all night

 

Big Freedia

One Eyed Jacks, 9PM

Bounce Queen moves ‘dat azz

 

Leroy Jones Quartet

The Bombay Club, 8:30PM

Classic jazz trumpet

 

Sticky Fingers

House of Blues, 8PM

Australian reggae rockers

 

SiriusXM Jam On Presents: Galactic

Tipitina’s, 11PM

First-rate funk band is joined tonight by Stoop Kids

 

Hustle with DJ Soul Sister

Hi-Ho Lounge, 11PM

Underground disco and rare groove dance party 

 

Rebirth Brass Band

Howlin’ Wolf, 10PM

Beloved brass band takes the stage

 

Washboard Chaz Blues Trio

Blue Nile, 7PM

The iconic Washboard Chaz takes a break from the Tin Men to lead this trio 

DIMANCHE

February 26th

Krewe of Okeanos

Uptown-St. Charles Route, 11AM

Celebrating it's 68th year, Okeanos is heavy on tradition

 

Krewe of Mid-City

Uptown-St. Charles Route, 11:45AM

Yes, the Mid-City krewe is parading along the Uptown route

 

Krewe of Thoth

Uptown-St. Charles Route, 12PM

Thoth seeks to bring Carnival joy to the sick and infirm 

 

Krewe of Bacchus

Uptown-St. Charles Route, 5:15PM

Celebrating the God of wine, feasts, and general good times, Bacchus is one of the most anticipated parades 

 

Sweet Megg and the Wayfarers

Rare Form, 4PM

NYC-based hot jazz, blues and swing

 

Palmetto Bug Stompers 

d.b.a., 6PM

Local trad jazz masters

 

Academy Awards Watch Party

Prytania Theatre, 6PM 

Enjoy snacks, cocktails and more as the rich & famous vie for those golden statuettes ($25)

 

Swingin’ Sundays

The Allways Lounge, 8PM

Weekly recurring dance lessons to live swing music (FREE)

 

LEON + Jacob Banks

Gasa Gasa, 10PM

European invasion from Swedish indie pop star LEON and UK-based R&B singer Jacob Banks ($15)

 

Dumpstaphunk + Miss Mojo

Howlin' Wolf, 10PM

Ivan & krewe bring da funk, joined by Miss Mojo

 

Big Chief Monk Boudreaux & John Papa Gros

d.b.a., 11PM

Golden Eagles Chief brings Mardi Gras Indian funk

 

Jason Neville Band

Vaso, 11PM

Get Up, Get Down, Get Funky, Get Loose


Hasslin' 'n Rasslin'

Ladies' Arm Wrestling Pumps Up the Lower Garden District



Last updated at 3 p.m., 10/22

 

At a NOLAW brawl, the euphoria of watching female biceps bulge until it seems like cephalic veins are about to pop can overtake all sense of time and place. Then, someone slips in a bribe.

 

In New Orleans Ladies Arm Wrestling, the bribes aren't stuffed in a freezer, or exchanged in a brown paper bag in the shadows. Instead, like a throwback to those wistful days before the FBI got in the way, graft is out in the open for all to see.

 

“It happens as the night goes on, it gets a little crazier and people realize there aren't any rules,” explains NOLAW circle of trust fixture Nina Feldman, as she's gearing up for tomorrow night's throwdown at the Half Moon Bar.

 

When the women's fists are locked, greenbacks and raffle tickets are greasing the skids. Tickets are a buck, with all the Washingtons on their way to charity. The audience is also strongly prodded to place a wager, ensuring the closest thing to absolute mayhem this side of a backroom cockfighting ring.

 

The NOLAW series is less than a year old, but it's already gained steam after three go-rounds thanks to a one-of-a-kind combination of adrenaline, acuity of mission, and, as ever in this town, ass-shaking. The costumes also help.

 

Its first inception in January at Mid-City legend Finn McCool's occupied the back corner of the bar in true mafioso style. All who decided to dedicate their evening to the wily event gave their fullest. For the contingent of locals occupying barstools and obsessing over football, on the other hand, it might as well have been a round of croquet.

 

By the third event this summer at the otherwise-temperate CBD hangout Handsome Willy's, the entire rear patio was a near Mt. St. Helens, sending out smoke signals to broadcast its readiness to erupt – and take whole hamlets of well-meaning plainfolk with it.

 

In addition to bestowing boundless glory on three champions, the bouts raised more than $1,500 for charity groups like Books For Prisoners and Hagar's House, the domestic violence shelter, organizers said.

 

Even with all the showboating and shenanigans, the group takes seriously its mission to advocate for women's issues and organizations that support that set of causes around the metro area and Gulf Coast region. Feldman said the group would like to turn a finer focus on women-specific organizations. They would also like to provide the sponsoring organizations with a more outspoken platform for their cause at the brawls, as opposed to simply raising money for them, she said.

 

All proceeds from tomorrow night's event will benefit the St. Bernard Project's Wellness Center, which focuses on providing mental health services to citizens of Da Parish in the wake of the Big Oozy.

 

The savage quest that takes place here in NOLA is just one of many ladies' arm wrestling chapters around the county. The concept started in Charlottesville, Va.(CLAW), and has expanded to Taos, N.M., the Hudson Valley Region of New York, and Raleigh, N.C., among other cities.

 

Feldman said there is talk of forming a nonprofit organization to encompass all of the chapters. That could provide funding, administrative support, and assurance that they wouldn't get exploited by Girls Gone Wild, she said.

 

But before exchanging money, and even before throwing around superlatives about a femme who today remains merely mortal, there is some serious spectacle to be had.

 

In addition to the costumed rasslers themselves, each NOLAW brawl brings dressed-to-the-hilt entourages wandering the crowd, celebrity judges, and that two-face of a referee.

 

The tournament starts with eight competitors, but at the end of the night only one is able to claim triumph.

 

Tomorrow night's card will see the likes of Baby Brees, the Two-Headed Monster, the Phiery Phoenix and Granny Grinder. They'll also be a special return appearance by celebrity judge Sarah Palin.

 

We asked the participants about some particulars. Their responses are below:

 

Baby Brees

 

Name: Baby Brees (I)

Age: 1 (& nine-twelfths!)

Place of Residence: The Teet of Who Dat

Left or Right-handed?: Left

Theme Music: "Black and Yellow" by Rick Ross

Entourage: Blanket Jackson, The Baby That Should've Been Made by Natalie Portman and Devendra Banhart, Bjork and Barney's baby, Pax Jolie-Pitt

Mode of transportation to the brawl: Breesus' shoulders

In-brawl drink of choice: Mama's milk aka 4 Loco

What's your pre-brawl ritual? How do you get pumped?: A little nurse, A little nap, A little sandbox shotput.

 

 

Grandma Grinder
 

Age: 89 1/2
Place of Residence: NOLA Nursing Home for the Elderly
Left or Right-handed?: Right
Theme music: “Beaumont” by 3OH!3
Entourage: Nursing home attendants
Mode of transportation to the brawl: Ambulance
In-brawl drink of choice: Geritol
What's your pre-brawl ritual?: A nap
How do you get pumped for a brawl?: Try to get out of a chair

 

Pearl Slick

Age: 20
Place of Residence: Gulf of Mexico
Left or Right-handed? Right handed
Theme Music: "Children's Story" by Slick Rick
Entourage: Slick Skrimp and the Black Fish
Mode of Transportation to the Brawl: Westerly Winds 6 Series

In-brawl drink of choice? Tar Bomb (Jager and Midori dropped into High Life)
How do you get pumped for a brawl? Lube up (oil based, of course) and spill out

Shoutouts? All da bouys in da houseeeeeee

 

Celebrity Judge Sarah Palin

Age: A young 46

Place of Residence: Wasilla, AK. Just stopping here on my latest book tour!

Current Job: Show mom on Dancing With the Stars, Twitter master, busy grandmother, rogue reality star on TLC!

Theme Music: PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN

Mode of Transportation: ATV

What are your qualifications for this job? America, being American, patriotism, and doin' the best I sure can.

What vicious, adrenaline-filled beatdown-fests do you consume on a daily basis to form your views of ladies' arm wrestling? Well, Kermit, I regularly enjoy shootin' bears, goin' bobsleddin', and fightin' for unborn babies. So I think you can see the clear connections there for yourself.

Can you see any arm wrestlers from your house? I can't see arm wrestlers but I sure can see wrestlin'. The Russian government is trying to wrestle our freedom away from us, Kermit. And yes, I can see wrestlin' Russia from my house.

How can wrestlers make sure you rule in their favor? Write-in Sarah Palin for President in 2012!!

Is ladies' arm wrestling in any way like moose hunting? It's a lot like moose huntin', Kermit. You gotta go for the kill, pay attention.

In-brawl drink of choice? Oh, just root beer. I'm a pretty tame girl. (No but seriously, anything with whiskey or tequila)

Shoutouts: I'd like to thank America, God, my family, the First Amendment, feminism, the Tea Party, America, wolves, God, abstinence-only education, the Second Amendment, the ghost writers of my books, Dr. Laura, and America. God bless you all.

 

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Contributors:

Dead Huey Long, Emma Boyce, Elizabeth Davas, Ian Hoch, Lindsay Mack, Anna Gaca, Jason Raymond, Lee Matalone, Phil Yiannopoulos, Joe Shriner, Chris Staudinger, Chef Anthony Scanio, Tierney Monaghan, Stacy Coco, Rob Ingraham,

Listings Editor


Photographers

Brandon Roberts, Rachel June, Daniel Paschall

Art Director:

Michael Weber, B.A.

Editor:

B. E. Mintz

Published Daily by

Minced Media, Inc.

Editor Emeritus



Stephen Babcock