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THE

Defender Picks

 

Vendredi

July 21st

Friday Pop Up

Drifter Hotel, 1PM

By Lucille’s Roti Shop

 

Louisiana Sportsman Show

Superdome, 3PM

Back in NOLA after 12 years

 

Dinner and a ZOOvie

Audubon Park, 6PM

A showing of Moana

 

Summer Nerd Movie Nights

Tubby & Coo’s, 7PM

A showing of The Neverending Story

 

John Waters Film Festival

NOMA, 7PM

A showing of Pink Flamingos

 

Leonardo Hernandez Trio

Casa Borrega, 7PM

Great food, great music

 

Comedy F#@k Yeah

The Dragon’s Den, 8PM

Ft. Shane Torres

 

New Rebel Family

House of Blues, 8PM

Ft. AYO, The Other LA, Akadia, and Ventruss

 

Mia Borders Trio

Foundation Room, 9:30PM

Open to the public

 

Alligator ChompChomp

The Circle Bar, 10PM

Crunchin’ on those notes

 

Foundation Free Fridays

Tips, 10PM

Ft. Walter “Wolfman” Washington + The Fortifiers

 

Spektrum Fridays

Techno Club, 11PM

Ft. Mikel Douglas + Dozal

SAMEDI

July 22nd

Ice Cream Social

Longue Vue, 10AM

Plus adoptable pets from the SPCA

 

Veggie Growing Basics

Hollygrove Market, 1PM

Grow your own food

 

National Hot Dog Day

Dat Dog, 3PM

Raffles, ice cream and more

 

Cocktails and Queens

Piscobar, 6PM

A queer industry dance party

 

Immersive Sound Bath

Nola Yoga Loft, 7PM

Soothing 3D Soundscapes

 

Paul Mooney

Jazz Market, 8PM

Also ft. music by Caren Green

 

New Orleans Beatles Festival

House of Blues, 8PM

Come together, right now

 

Christmas in July

The Willow, 8PM

Ugly sweaters and peppermint shots

 

HOUxNOLA

Three Keys, 9PM

With Coolasty ft. Jack Freeman and more

 

Particle Devotion

Banks St Bar, 9PM

Ft. Paper Bison +  Tranche

 

Cesar Comanche

Art Klub, 9:30PM

Ft. Ghost Dog, Knox Ketchum and more

 

Gimme A Reason

Poor Boy’s Bar, 10PM

Ft. Savile and local support

 

Techno Club

Techno Club, 10PM

Ft. Javier Drada, Eria Lauren, Otto

 

DIMANCHE

July 23rd

From Here to Eternity

Prytania Theatre, 10AM

The 1953 classic

 

Eight Flavors

Longue Vue, 12PM

Sarah Lohman will discuss her new book

 

Book Swap

Church Alley Coffee Bar, 12PM

Bring books, get books

 

Urban Composting

Hollygrove Market, 1PM

Learn about easy composting

 

Brave New World Book Club

Tubby & Coo’s, 2PM

Open to all

 

Gentleman Loser

The Drifter Hotel, 3PM

A classic poolside rager

 

Mixology 101

Carrolton Market

With Dusty Mars

 

Freret Street Block Party

Freret St, 5PM

A celebratory bar crawl

 

Mushroom Head

Southport Music Hall, 6PM

+ Hail Sagan and American Grim

 

Glen David Andrews

Little Gem Saloon, 8PM

Get trombone’d by the greatest

 

Hot 8 Brass Band

The Howlin Wolf, 10PM

Brass music for a new era

 

Church*

The Dragon’s Den, 10PM

Ft. KTRL, Unicorn Fukr, RMonic


Hasslin' 'n Rasslin'

Ladies' Arm Wrestling Pumps Up the Lower Garden District



Last updated at 3 p.m., 10/22

 

At a NOLAW brawl, the euphoria of watching female biceps bulge until it seems like cephalic veins are about to pop can overtake all sense of time and place. Then, someone slips in a bribe.

 

In New Orleans Ladies Arm Wrestling, the bribes aren't stuffed in a freezer, or exchanged in a brown paper bag in the shadows. Instead, like a throwback to those wistful days before the FBI got in the way, graft is out in the open for all to see.

 

“It happens as the night goes on, it gets a little crazier and people realize there aren't any rules,” explains NOLAW circle of trust fixture Nina Feldman, as she's gearing up for tomorrow night's throwdown at the Half Moon Bar.

 

When the women's fists are locked, greenbacks and raffle tickets are greasing the skids. Tickets are a buck, with all the Washingtons on their way to charity. The audience is also strongly prodded to place a wager, ensuring the closest thing to absolute mayhem this side of a backroom cockfighting ring.

 

The NOLAW series is less than a year old, but it's already gained steam after three go-rounds thanks to a one-of-a-kind combination of adrenaline, acuity of mission, and, as ever in this town, ass-shaking. The costumes also help.

 

Its first inception in January at Mid-City legend Finn McCool's occupied the back corner of the bar in true mafioso style. All who decided to dedicate their evening to the wily event gave their fullest. For the contingent of locals occupying barstools and obsessing over football, on the other hand, it might as well have been a round of croquet.

 

By the third event this summer at the otherwise-temperate CBD hangout Handsome Willy's, the entire rear patio was a near Mt. St. Helens, sending out smoke signals to broadcast its readiness to erupt – and take whole hamlets of well-meaning plainfolk with it.

 

In addition to bestowing boundless glory on three champions, the bouts raised more than $1,500 for charity groups like Books For Prisoners and Hagar's House, the domestic violence shelter, organizers said.

 

Even with all the showboating and shenanigans, the group takes seriously its mission to advocate for women's issues and organizations that support that set of causes around the metro area and Gulf Coast region. Feldman said the group would like to turn a finer focus on women-specific organizations. They would also like to provide the sponsoring organizations with a more outspoken platform for their cause at the brawls, as opposed to simply raising money for them, she said.

 

All proceeds from tomorrow night's event will benefit the St. Bernard Project's Wellness Center, which focuses on providing mental health services to citizens of Da Parish in the wake of the Big Oozy.

 

The savage quest that takes place here in NOLA is just one of many ladies' arm wrestling chapters around the county. The concept started in Charlottesville, Va.(CLAW), and has expanded to Taos, N.M., the Hudson Valley Region of New York, and Raleigh, N.C., among other cities.

 

Feldman said there is talk of forming a nonprofit organization to encompass all of the chapters. That could provide funding, administrative support, and assurance that they wouldn't get exploited by Girls Gone Wild, she said.

 

But before exchanging money, and even before throwing around superlatives about a femme who today remains merely mortal, there is some serious spectacle to be had.

 

In addition to the costumed rasslers themselves, each NOLAW brawl brings dressed-to-the-hilt entourages wandering the crowd, celebrity judges, and that two-face of a referee.

 

The tournament starts with eight competitors, but at the end of the night only one is able to claim triumph.

 

Tomorrow night's card will see the likes of Baby Brees, the Two-Headed Monster, the Phiery Phoenix and Granny Grinder. They'll also be a special return appearance by celebrity judge Sarah Palin.

 

We asked the participants about some particulars. Their responses are below:

 

Baby Brees

 

Name: Baby Brees (I)

Age: 1 (& nine-twelfths!)

Place of Residence: The Teet of Who Dat

Left or Right-handed?: Left

Theme Music: "Black and Yellow" by Rick Ross

Entourage: Blanket Jackson, The Baby That Should've Been Made by Natalie Portman and Devendra Banhart, Bjork and Barney's baby, Pax Jolie-Pitt

Mode of transportation to the brawl: Breesus' shoulders

In-brawl drink of choice: Mama's milk aka 4 Loco

What's your pre-brawl ritual? How do you get pumped?: A little nurse, A little nap, A little sandbox shotput.

 

 

Grandma Grinder
 

Age: 89 1/2
Place of Residence: NOLA Nursing Home for the Elderly
Left or Right-handed?: Right
Theme music: “Beaumont” by 3OH!3
Entourage: Nursing home attendants
Mode of transportation to the brawl: Ambulance
In-brawl drink of choice: Geritol
What's your pre-brawl ritual?: A nap
How do you get pumped for a brawl?: Try to get out of a chair

 

Pearl Slick

Age: 20
Place of Residence: Gulf of Mexico
Left or Right-handed? Right handed
Theme Music: "Children's Story" by Slick Rick
Entourage: Slick Skrimp and the Black Fish
Mode of Transportation to the Brawl: Westerly Winds 6 Series

In-brawl drink of choice? Tar Bomb (Jager and Midori dropped into High Life)
How do you get pumped for a brawl? Lube up (oil based, of course) and spill out

Shoutouts? All da bouys in da houseeeeeee

 

Celebrity Judge Sarah Palin

Age: A young 46

Place of Residence: Wasilla, AK. Just stopping here on my latest book tour!

Current Job: Show mom on Dancing With the Stars, Twitter master, busy grandmother, rogue reality star on TLC!

Theme Music: PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN

Mode of Transportation: ATV

What are your qualifications for this job? America, being American, patriotism, and doin' the best I sure can.

What vicious, adrenaline-filled beatdown-fests do you consume on a daily basis to form your views of ladies' arm wrestling? Well, Kermit, I regularly enjoy shootin' bears, goin' bobsleddin', and fightin' for unborn babies. So I think you can see the clear connections there for yourself.

Can you see any arm wrestlers from your house? I can't see arm wrestlers but I sure can see wrestlin'. The Russian government is trying to wrestle our freedom away from us, Kermit. And yes, I can see wrestlin' Russia from my house.

How can wrestlers make sure you rule in their favor? Write-in Sarah Palin for President in 2012!!

Is ladies' arm wrestling in any way like moose hunting? It's a lot like moose huntin', Kermit. You gotta go for the kill, pay attention.

In-brawl drink of choice? Oh, just root beer. I'm a pretty tame girl. (No but seriously, anything with whiskey or tequila)

Shoutouts: I'd like to thank America, God, my family, the First Amendment, feminism, the Tea Party, America, wolves, God, abstinence-only education, the Second Amendment, the ghost writers of my books, Dr. Laura, and America. God bless you all.

 

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Contributors

Renard Boissiere, Evan Z.E. Hammond, Naimonu James, Wilson Koewing, J.A. Lloyd, Nina Luckman, Dead Huey Long, Joseph Santiago, Andrew Smith, Cynthia Via, Austin Yde

Photographers


Art Director

Michael Weber, B.A.

Editor

Alexis Manrodt

Listings Editor

Linzi Falk

Editor Emeritus

B. E. Mintz

Editor Emeritus

Stephen Babcock

Published Daily