Too self-conscious to hit the gym? Too broke to fork over the cash for pricey Pilates classes?

 

New Year’s resolutions start with the best of intentions, but most of us allow our fitness routines to become lackluster, slipping into the trap of pedantic pushups or shrugging things off altogether. But we feel your pain. And, in a rare turn of events, so does a member of the Big Easy Rollergirls. So, dear readers, if your exercise routine has become a reoccurring series of utterances that end with the phrase, "Tomorrow I'll hit the gym," do read on.

 

 

Because regardless of the excuses you've used to extinguish your New Year’s fitness resolutions, Coalminer's Slaughter, the trainer behind some of New Orleans' toughest roller derby damsels, has some simple tips to motivate and propel you off the couch. At the very least, she'll get you doing some couch crunches.

 

 

In a grueling session with NoDef, Coalminer's Slaughter demonstrated a staggering variety of fitness moves with ordinary household items, and simply constructed home fitness equipment. Slaughter stated with glee that nearly anything can be used as a fitness tool.

 

 

The edge of your bed becomes a spot for one-legged planks.

 

 

 

A fishing pole package serves as the center of interval training.  

 

An old playground ball filled with sand and covered in duct tape becomes a medicine ball.

 

 

Carnival Burn

In addition to burning calories by reaching for another slice of king cake or catching your weight in beads, you might consider another Carnival commodity for exercise: the nylon belts many krewe riders use to stabilize themselves to floats and trucks during carnival. These simple nylon belts with metal clips can be used to attach, and then pull, heavy objects—like an outdoor barbecue grill—for medium to intense resistance workouts.

 

 

 

PVC Program

For those already in shape and seeking a more advanced home fitness routine, the world of DIY fitness apparati awaits.  Readers might want to add PVC pipe and duct tape to spring project lists now, just in case. With very simple raw materials, Slaughter demonstrates the transformative properties of PVC piping to create a home dip station and slosh pipe for the fit and crafty set, or those who hope to become so.

 

 

 

 

Dips use body weight as resistance and are great for working the chest, triceps, shoulders, and strengthening the core; especially if your home dip station turns out a little wobbly. To create a home dip station, first line up enough PVC pipe width length to ensure you can stand hips-distance apart with room to move and rotate easily. Next, measure your desired dip station height. The top bar should be several inches above your hip bone, so that you can easily push yourself off the ground and dip without sneaker drag. Be cautious of selecting pipe that isn’t too large for your hand’s circumference to grip.

 

 

Repeat these measurements to create a basic square or rectangle depending upon measurements. With a few attachment bolts and a friend’s help to measure and hold piping in place (and perhaps referencing a DIY fitness site like www.bodyrock.tv) you too can have your own dip station.