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Craig's Lust

The Best of Carnival's "Missed Connections"



The confetti has been swept from the streets and the bleachers and port-a-potties are almost all down. Mardi Gras is over. Many locals are already thinking about next year, but a few people are looking back at lost opportunities during the 2016 festivities. Those souls can be found on CraigsList’s “Missed Connections” section. NoDef offers our CL Carnival wrap.

 

There were some run-of-the-mill CL material. A man was seeking a “bad cheerleader” that he met Mardi Gras Day. Another man was disappointed that a Philadelphian met at Muses never returned for the beer that he had waiting. And, then, there was the obligatory sunrise missed connection on Frenchmen Street.

 

“You in all your luminous neon and sequence [sic] (and a few scraps of tinfoil) made a b-line for me to hand me something I am guessing you hand made. I am still not quite sure what it was but it was from you and you were beautiful. You whispered something in my ear, but all I could make out was the clanging of a xylophone and a 5 gallon bucket painted like a storm troopers helmet behind you,” the lovelorn man wrote. “I found you exquisite and exotic (could have been all the fur) and smelling a bit like a Jo-Annes crafts store.”

 

A woman dressed like a prostitute circa 1910 for fell for two standards: a man in uniform and dogs. Her post, titled “K9 Cop, Saturday Before Mardi Gras,” explained that she was smitten with the officer’s Malinois and also noted that the cop was “cute and weren't wearing a wedding band.” Mind you, the author was with “the dude dressed like Rainbow Bright who was dancing in the street” when she met her would-be paramour, but that shouldn’t be an obstacle. On the other hand, the posters hair might be a problem, but she added that it “usually looks better.”

 

However, the most creativity came out following the M.O.M.’s Ball. A couple is looking for the “older guy that had the free shots sign at MOMS” so they can “thank him properly.” Another lovely heart at the fete typed, “You were pushing a baby stroller and I was dressed in drag. We spoke briefly. I wanted to ask for your number but couldn't find you again. I would love to talk to you again.”

 

The clear winner was also at M.O.M.’s falling under the subject line, “I lost my MIME at MOMS Ball.” The man behind this Missed Connection has a flair for the pun. After dancing with a mime to the brass band, he lost his love but not his wit. A torrent of wordplay including “mime over matter,” “mime-bending dance,” “mime-altering drugs,” and “I was just being mimeful and miming my own business, but you hadn't slipped my mime” follows. If you have an open mime, this is worth the read.

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Contributors

Renard Boissiere, Evan Z.E. Hammond, Naimonu James, Wilson Koewing, J.A. Lloyd, Nina Luckman, Dead Huey Long, Alexis Manrodt, Joseph Santiago, Andrew Smith, Cynthia Via, Austin Yde

Photographers


Art Director

Michael Weber, B.A.

Editor


Listings Editor

Linzi Falk

Editor Emeritus

Alexis Manrodt


B. E. Mintz


Stephen Babcock

Published Daily