When we last left Renard parish, Eric and Jess almost died (er lived then died again,) but they didn't. There was a bunch of feeding and sex. Then, all the personalities involved attempted reconciliation with the witches, but that turned ugly. The cliffhanger moment came when Sookie was injured, plus the witches used silver to capture Vampire Eric. And, here we go again...

Tonight, we return to Bon Temps, a campy, absurdist town populated by characters in Louisiana that is slightly less entertaining than actual Louisiana characters. When we last left the gang, Eric was spared by Bill and then wasted no time getting with Sookie, (However, it must be noted that the gratuitous nudity of seasons past has yielded to a nuanced "erotica.") Jason thought he was a panther, but it was just a subconscious rationalization to flirt with Jessica. Marnie and Lafayette are both possessed by powerful witches, and there's a devil-baby with Arlene and terry. Now for this week...

When we last lost Renard Parish, Sookie was making out with Eric, Vampire Bill had Marnie the Witch under lockdown in some sort of Gitmo-esque facility, Tara's lesbian lover in NOLA was onto her second life, and  and Vampire Bill convinced Pam to spill the beans about Sookie's landlord. And, now Episode 5 minute by minute...

Last week, Jason escaped the shapeshifting panthers,and was rescued by Hoyt and Jessica, but Tommy, the shapeshifting dog, was collared so he can be used in a Michael Vick style dogfight operation. (Really.) Meanwhile, Eric tripped on Faireie blood, and Marnie, the cliche named witch, is becoming very evil. In fact, she used her powers to cut through Pam's Tammy Fay Baker-esque makeup and dissolve the very flesh of her face. Sookie has kept her clothes on and grown distant from Bill. Now for Episode Five!

When we last left Bon Temps over in Renard Parish, True Blood was experimenting once again Having run out of drugs, and supernatural gimmicks, Alan Ball's team decided to try slipping on their abstinence rings. In place of nudity, they tried plot and acting. In the last minute, they realized their folly, and gave us an amnesiac Eric eating Sookie's Fairie Godmother. Also, Pam enlisted Tara and Lafayette to bring back Marnie the Witch lest she "eat, fuck, and kill" each of the.

When we last left our favorite tale of Louisiana Lust, the tiny town of Bon Temps had run amuck. Eric the Vampire proved himself quite the real estate wiz, buying Sookie's house, Vampire Bill found himself enough mercs to prove that Giants aren't the only ones with posses, a Wiccan stopped eating granola, satisfying herself with raising the dead, and Sam is involved in some sort of Prufrockian unrequited love mixed with shape changing. Yeah. Oh, and there's sex, lots of sex.