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Defender Picks


Nungesser Might Run for Lieutenant Gov

Billy Nungesser's face gets pretty red when he's in front of the camera, but it's not due to shyness. Ever since the Big Oozy left the headlines, though, the glare of the spotlight that was once so omnipresent has now receded. So, Nungesser has decided to raise some money for a media campaign. Oh ya, and he's thinking about running for lieutenant governor, too. But nothing's official yet. You should still give him money, though!

Cogito Virgo Sum: Shifting Alignments Blamed On Stars, For Once Not a Dodge

Yesterday's revelation that our calendar hasn't been properly aligned with the constellations for quite some time now had office workers everywhere spinning off the axis of their desk chairs. If that sent you into identity crisis, imagine what the change in zodiac sign dates did to the public figures who spend years crafting their distinctive personalities so the public can more easily love (or hate) them. In concert with a new amalgamated partnership being touted as the Armchair Astrological Pundits' Association, NoDef took a look at how the change in star signs would effect a handful of NOLA notables. Thankfully, no one surveyed falls into the uncharted territory that is Ophiuchus. Results after the jump!

An Ed-ipal Return

by Kyle Gilmore

Convicted felon and former La. gov Edwin Edwards put his one phone call to good use.  Before being released from prison he has already been anointed the Grand Marshall of the Rice Festival Parade in Crowley, La. this October.  Former Govenor Edwards was sentenced to ten years in prison on racketeering charges in 2001 and began serving his sentence in October 2002.  Edwards will be released into a halfway house this month, where he will serve another 6 months before being released.  At this early hour, it is believed that Edwards is also available for birthday parties. Payments are to be made under the table.

Cringe and Purge

As we move into the new year, it's time to find out what we're really made of. No, we're not talking about consecutive days of debauchery and the ability to subsist on King Cake alone. U.S. Census numbers are scheduled to be released sometime after the first of the year that will indicate how many people the city actually has since Katrina, and where the boundaries of our Congressional districts will lie. Last week, the state released some suggestive numbers to whet our demographically-thirsty whistle, the Advocate, of Baton Rouge, reports. 

Back to the Bottom

Here's a little treat in every wonk's Christmas basket: America's worst governors, as chosen by the watchdog group Citizens for Ethics and Responsibility in Washington. Now, let's examine the list. Ah, yes, there's California's own action hero, Arnold Schwarzenegger, who is accused of forcing out "air pollution employees who were trying to protect the environment." And there's South Carolina's Mark Sanford, he of long, tryst-filled sojourns and seemingly even longer apology-filled press conferences. Then, there's another governor, also known for his trips, who we know a little more intimately.

Gretna, Beltway Mentalities Diverge

Thomas Porteous knows about chummy clubs, but he didn't get any love from the world's most exclusive one today. It was a long time comin', but today a U.S. Senate that can't agree on much voted to remove Judge Thomas Porteous from office. The Metairie judge who (sort of) introduced the nation to the "Gretna mentality" -- an arcane legal practice that involves leaving gifts in cars and Vegas trips -- will by turns be stripped of his $174,000 pension. The best zinger from the whole trial came from Porteous' lawyer, who acknowledged yesterday he was "something of a moocher."

Magnum Opus

Backyard sex parties. Hammers thrown at cars. Prostitute girlfriends. Small penis syndrome. Seems like too much for just one blog post, but today the intrigue mongers over at Slabbed wove it all together. The missive chronicles the supposed exploits of would-be political fixer John Houghtaling ("Magnum" in Slabspeak), allegedly taking one small favor from a friend, and one giant leap into NOLA infamy.

Poor, Unfortunate Souls

Today's tiniest violin award goes to the state oil and gas industry. With Sen. Mary Landrieu breaking Congressional gridlock last week, the Mo-Town magnates thought they were getting a real concession on drilling regulations today out of Interior Secretary Ken Salazar as he visited Houma. Turns out, the only reassurance they got was that Salazar looks salt-of-the-earth in a baseball cap. David Vitter, sitting liuetenant gov Scott Angelle, and likely every other high-dollar donor to the state Republican party joined in the chorus of jeers.

Little Too Much Kick

For our daily Luzyana corruption fix, we turn to that stalwart of muckraking, the Thoroughbred Times. The specter of indictment has reared its ugly head on the president and executive director of the state Horsemen’s Benevolent and Protective Association. Seems that heading up the state's four horsetracks is a nice gig. So good that the pair allegedly rigged the voting to keep themselves in power and continue taking money from the Association's coffers. We long for the good old days, when the only thing that smelled around the track was horseshit.

Dixiecrat Dilemma

We'd have to ask Dead Huey Long to find out for sure, but it seems like there was once a day when a politician could align himself with both the Democratic Party and the general feelings of the people of Luzyana. Last week's blood-red midterm elections apparently showed State Rep. Walker Hines that the two weren't compatible in 2010. As of yesterday, Hines is the GOP's newest member.

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Renard Boissiere, Evan Z.E. Hammond, Naimonu James, Wilson Koewing, J.A. Lloyd, Nina Luckman, Dead Huey Long, Alexis Manrodt, Joseph Santiago, Andrew Smith, Cynthia Via, Austin Yde


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