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What's Up, Doc?


Coming soon to New Orleans, NYC comedienne and femme fatale, Jessica Delfino teams up with photographer, Alex M. Smith, to document the oil spill disaster and relief effort. This project was conceived with the notion that if you want to do something and you feel you can’t, well actually you can.

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Good God! Goodyear!


According to the latest press release from the intimidating sounding, "Deepwater Response External Affairs" (Give em your shield and your gun!,) the Navy has dispatched an airship to aid in surveillance of the gulf. That's right, a blimp! A zeppelin is going to save us. (Well, they are good for staying aloft longer.) Insert Hindenburg joke here:_________.


Oil Spill Roundup


By Stephen Babcock

While the Big Oozy continues to gush, the three-headed lady that is the media sideshow continues to move forcefully in the direction of Spiro Agnew. BP boss Tony Hayward told the BBC he's thinking of the oil as a mere drop in the huge bucket that is the Gulf of Mexico. Meanwhile, scientists are again questioning just how much oil might be leaking into that vast body of water. But no matter how big or small, that doesn't make these photos any less sobering. But do not stand voiceless, dear concerned citizen sitting at your computer thinking of an idea so good that only your amateur, coffee-laced mind could come up with it. The response team, staffed with innovative scientists and possessing access to cutting edge technology, is asking you to come up with the bright idea that will stop the leak, or at least keep an intern employed.


Say Hay Kids


Darryl Carpenter and Otis Goodson of CW Roberts Contracting have solved the whole Gulf Apocalypse problem with a couple of handfulls of dried grass.  You know that feeling you get when the guy or gal you've been hopelessly lusting after for the last six months finally makes out with you, and you're full of hope, yet 90% confident it's complete bullshit?  Experience that feeling now!

 


Solved!


Ok.  Goldman Sachs hired a Korean submarine commandered by the Pope to create a bubble of methane gas which caused the explosion that dumped the oil rig, in order to create a gulf disaster that would necessitate a tactical nuclear device being detonated in the gulf, poisoning the oceans of the earth, and ultimately ushering in an era of post hubris green energy, humility and universal brotherhood.  Or something.  


Big Oozy Update


The petroleum aroma that has taken the place of sweet magnolias in the air is a reminder enough that we're basically screwed... again. However, if you want more, we got it. Oyster offers a comprehensive roundup on the Toxic Waltz. The LA Times has some great (ina journalistic sense) photos. And JudyB has video.


Hairy Situation


Looking for a way to fight the Big Oozy? Well, take your hair and head to the Ritz. Apparently, hair and animal fur collect oil. (That!s why you shower!) So, Matter of Trust is collecting hair, fur, and nylons to build booms. The Ritz Carlton on Canal (Insert your own joke here!) is the only donation point in New Orleans, and has assigned their staff to take shifts building booms... BP should call them up and reserve a suite in corporate responsibility! JudyB brings us details.


Oil Slick Blues

Gulf Gaffe Gets Real



It’s normal for Charlie Robin III to start thinking about shrimp
and oysters this time of year. But as the stakes of a still-growing
oil spill ratcheted up Wednesday on the shores of Southeast Louisiana,
the St. Bernard Parish native and lifelong fisherman was worried about
having something to catch this year in the fertile seafood grounds to
the east of the mouth of the Mississippi river.
“If you lose your crop, you don’t have anything else to fall back on,”


Oil & Water


The oil slick situation is not improving.  When we hear that the "Wetlands are threatened," the phrase sounds abstract, what some dismiss as alarmist; however, allow NoDef to translate... Mudbugs and shrimp supplies are now in high danger, and the Coast Guard is working admirably, TransOcean is nowhere to be seen. Nasa has photos, if you're particularly masochistic.


Oops!


So, you remember that oil rig disaster in the Gulf last week? Remember the human cost, but at least we were lucky enough that the well is not leaking?

Well, that's not true. It turns out that the well IS leaking... 42,000 gallons a day... into the Gulf.


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Contributors

Renard Boissiere, Evan Z.E. Hammond, Naimonu James, Wilson Koewing, J.A. Lloyd, Nina Luckman, Dead Huey Long, Alexis Manrodt, Joseph Santiago, Andrew Smith, Cynthia Via, Austin Yde

Photographers


Art Director

Michael Weber, B.A.

Editor


Listings Editor

Linzi Falk

Editor Emeritus

Alexis Manrodt


B. E. Mintz


Stephen Babcock

Published Daily